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Saturday, 6 October 2012
Be Like a Cow
Breaking the Circle of Abuse
Sometimes when we become offended, or we have a fall out, we begin to play the tit-for-tat game, treating the other as badly as they treat us. This is
particularly true in marriages where the silent treatment is often
played out. And being human, we are often just as stubborn as the other,
refusing to break the cycle of negative behaviour. It thus takes a very
obedient will to be the first one to break the circle/cycle of abuse. I learnt this lesson at a time when my husband and I had a rather nasty row, caused by a petty disagreement of opinion, and had chosen to ignore each other. Logically, you would have thought that we would have put on loud music to make some noise, but instead we crept along the house in dead silence, as if to magnify our defiance in not speaking to the other! This pitiful behaviour continued for a few days (yes, I realise the Bible says not to go to bed on your anger ) Which is why I think God needed to teach me this lesson, and quick! I was making myself a cup of coffee when I clearly heard the Holy Spirit tell me to make my husband one too. Of course, I thought that was totally absurd and I instantly refused, but when the promptings in my spirit got stronger, I knew I had to obey, so did so reluctantly. I made him a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it, and went up to give it to him, trying very hard to avoid his eyes and not say a word. What that unusual and small gesture taught me was that sometimes one of us has to choose to make the first move towards breaking the circle. It was such a simple act of unexpected kindness, making a cup of coffee for my so-called enemy, yet it had the power to melt the grudge and put us both back on a path to reconciliation. So if you have someone who you are not on speaking terms with, learn from this lesson today! Don't wait for them to make the first move! You have to decide to be the bigger person by obeying God to forgive and restore peace. Imagine yourself taking your sword of faith and cutting that circle and making it a straight line, a path that both of you can walk forward together into a happier relationship.
Peace to Hear
I learnt a very important lesson recently from God and that is that you cannot hear His Holy Spirit speak and guide you if your heart is not at peace. How He taught me this was in the most disturbing manner! I had had a very difficult week dealing with offenses and my heart was certainly not filled with peace. In fact it was the very opposite of peace, which by my definition is a mix of angry chaos! My daughter had been invited to one of her best friend's birthday party, who I knew was very keen on horses. Before heading out to the shops, I prayed a quick prayer that I would be able to find the perfect horse gift. After two days of exhausted shopping to the two main shopping areas some distances away, I had found nothing In the end, I had to resort to buying a non-horse gift which I was very disappointed about. It was a few days later when I had to visit my local town and lo and behold, there in one of the gift shops that I had not even thought of visiting, was what would have been the most perfect gift - a lovely jewellery box with pictures of horses on it! God spoke so clearly to me that if I had been at peace in my heart, I would have been able to hear His voice tell me to visit that shop first. So often when we become rushed or flustered in our lives, our peace is one of our first fruits that is lost. It is almost as if it is an ingredient that cannot dwell in such an environment, so remember, if you want to hear the Holy Spirit clearly, be sure to keep your peace!
God Connections for Our Destiny
Going After the Prodigals
Never too Busy...
From Desperation to Acceptance
The Truth about Sorry
I learnt this lesson though a rather painful family fall-out. I won t go into all the details, except to say that I regret having taken so long to learn it. The sad truth about restoring any relationship is that both parties have to participate! We cannot change how another person feels except to pray for God to change their hearts, and for an opportunity to make amends. When my own tragedy occurred, I never believed it would take years to get resolved, but I see now that sometimes God does separate us from people in order to do a work in each of us. The lesson God showed me is that there are always two sides to every breakdown there is the other party s truth of how they perceive what happened, there is your own truth of how you perceive what happened and then there is God s truth, somewhere in-between! In every relationship breakdown, there is not just what was said or done, but how we made the other person feel that often gets in the way and is often the point at where we stumble, because we fail to realise this or put ourselves in the other person's shoes. We often feel justified in what we said or did and therefore we see no need or reason to apologise. Sometimes we can even become self-righteous and believe that it was needed in order to correct the other person. But I believe that anything that is said or done that destroys a relationship is never what God would want - unless of course if the relationship was a poison to you in the first place! By that I mean there are some relationships that are toxic to our growth as a Christian and we would be wise to cut those ones ones off. Unfortunately that is very hard to do when it is with a family member. Often in any relationship there may be times when conflict is needed in order to be honest, but this should be done in love and the end result should always be towards reconciliation. But as humans we can often say or do things in anger in response to an offense and although we cannot erase our words or undo our actions, but we can apologise sincerely from the heart, repent remorsefully and ask them to give us another chance to make amends. What we shouldn t do is to promise never to do it again.
A Lesson in Patience
My greatest lesson in patience was orchestrated by God using a simple
thing like my trainers (or if you're from South Africa, tekkies and
for other countries jogging shoes). For many years I had a favourite
pair that were pink and white and had a zip in the front instead of
laces. They were so quick to slip on and off and I loved wearing them.
However, after many years, they eventually got a hole in the sole, and I
was forced to find a replacement. But alas, I hunted high and low, but
could not find the same zip kind that was as comfortable as the ones I
had. In the end, I reluctantly ended up buying a pair that had
shoe-laces and boy, have they been a huge test on my patience! For one thing, I
could no longer just slip into them in second. It seems to take me ages
to undo the laces wide enough to fit my feet in, then to readjust the
laces so the ends are the same length and then to tie them into a bow.
However, the laces are so long they even need to be double-tied! And
then getting home to take them off, I first have to struggle to undo the
knot of the double-bow, and then only loosen the laces. This all takes a frustrating amount of time! Yes, I have tried just slipping
them on and off, but it is impossible - I even have a broken nail as
proof! I have to declare, laces were invented for the mega-patient and
the not-so-lazy! I feel sorry for my daughter's generation who are
growing up with velcro ones. They too will have a hard time adjusting to
frustrations of laces in their future. I just hope they find it a
smoother adjustment than I have and that their patience will not be as
sorely tested. But then again, they do say that patience can only grow when it is
well practiced, so at least I have that reward to look forward to...
Having an Elastic Faith
I've always liked to imagine that when we get born again, an elastic band is placed around ourselves and God so that no matter how far we stretch ourselves away from Him and backslide, we will always bounce right back to Him in the end. By that I mean we can only stretch ourselves so far before we spring back into the arms of God. To me this is a very comforting thought, especially as I pray for all my backslidden family and friends.
As I thought about an elastic band, I was inspired with some other thoughts that I d like to share. We should have an elastic band kind of faith one that is stretched in order for us to grow and one that has a desire to bounce back when we feel life has knocked us down!
Also there are times in our life when we often feel stretched too thin like an elastic band, about to snap. During those times, we should consider that God is stretching us beyond our normal limits in order to grow our faith.
Our prayer should be for God to give us an elastic band kind of faith one that will stretch us beyond what we think we are capable of believing and also stretchy enough to make us bounce up when life tries to get us down!
Marinading in God's Word
Being True to Who We Are
He explains how we have 3 images our projected image, our perceived image and our true image. The projected one is the one we are trying to portray, the kind of person we want people to think we are. The perceived image is how we think people see us the kind of reputation we believe to have. And lastly, our true image, the one only God and we can see, and that s only if we are honest with ourselves
It made me realise how often I am not honest in my actions or words and how much people s opinions of me really meant to me. I see now that if God is to be my priority then only His opinion of me should count. In other words, who do I fear most God s disapproval or my husbands, family or friends? It was a light-bulb moment for me to realise that although God loves me unconditionally, His pleasure or approval of me is determined through the choices I make!
It is not always easy to get the balance right here, especially when you are married to a non-believer, and I often have difficulty in trying to keep both God and my husband happy, but going forward, I am determined to do it God s way and leave the consequences to Him!
Laughter is My Sunshine
On a last note, I also learnt from my innocent child that there is no bad weather, just inappropriate clothing!
Here is a poem I wrote to share my feelings...
Laughter is my sunshine,
It keeps me warm and sane.
It makes my life more bearable,
Even when it rains.
So when the sky is grey and dull,
I use laughter to tan my life.
It readjusts my focus,
And irons out all my strife.
Its power lightens up my mood.
It’s the silver lining in my cloud.
I don’t know why or how it works,
But it’s the best anti-depressant around!
So I suggest you follow my lead,
And use laughter to brighten your soul.
Find things that make you laugh,
To take back your mind’s control.
Don’t allow the grey weather,
To darken up your mind.
Just use laughter as your rainbow,
To bring colours to your inside.
Let it shine away the cobwebs,
Let it melt away your pain.
When you laugh as if no one’s watching.
There’s an inner joy you’ll gain.
So whatever makes you laugh,
Whatever makes you smile.
Seek out these things and you will find,
A life much more worthwhile!
Passing the Anger Test
As someone who has battled a lot in the area of anger, I was delighted
with myself recently when I consider myself to have passed an ‘Anger
Test’ I believe God set just for me! It was the usual rush-hurry day,
when I dashed into the car, just in time to collect my daughter from her
dancing lesson. Lo and behold, I noticed a small, round mark in the
windscreen and thought to myself that a crack was just what I didn’t
need right now! Somehow, I let out a sigh from deep inside me and said a
quick prayer for extra strength to see me through the day. I even tried
to wash the windscreen whilst driving, but alas, the mark remained
there and I was convinced that it was a chip that would need to get
fixed – a job I didn’t have the time or the patience for, but I chose
not to get angry about it. However, when I got to my destination, I took
a closer inspection of what I honestly believed was a round chip caused
by a stone, only to discover that it was just a stubborn, dirty mark!! I
was over-the-moon with joy and thanked and praised God for his
goodness! As I calmed myself, I reflected on how much I had grown
spiritually, as God reminded me of an earlier time, just a few years
before, when the same event happened, but with a very different result –
I cursed and swore, ranted and raved, and was left with the nasty chip
to be repaired! I like to think that had I reacted in the same way, the
chip would have been that, a chip - and not a dirty mark, but because I
‘passed’ the test, the chip was miraculously healed and reduced to a
dirty mark instead! I have come to learn through many such incidents
that God sets tests for us to pass, and depending on how we react, we
either get to redo them for as many times as we need to, or we pass them
and progress to the next level in our Christian walk! There are so many
things in our everyday lives that can make us angry, but we do have the
power through God’s grace to choose not to react to it. Just take a
deep breath, say a quick prayer and SMILE!! Unless of course, if it's
righteous anger, when it's our action that's needed too... but I'll put
that in another blog for another time... 

