Staying Connecting to your Spouse

I love it when God teaches me life lessons from movies.  The other night I watched one which was truly a wake-up call!  It was called ‘At Middleton’ and is a wonderful demonstration of a problem that occurs in many marriages, especially with couples with an only-child.  It depicts two families where the mom and daughter of one and the father and son of another meet during a College orientation visit.   It soon becomes apparent that these families have allowed their respective children to become the centre of their marriage and had lost all connection with their spouses.  The classic ‘Empty-Nest’ syndrome is bad enough as it is, without feeling like you are left living with a stranger.  Therefore I believe it is vital to stay connected to your spouse – by making time for each other, especially where your focus is not just about the children, and where your conversations don’t just revolve around them.  Spend time together once the kids have gone to bed to catch up with one another about each other’s day and share intimate things that goes beyond just the daily life-living yes and no answers.  As for me, I love cuddling up on the couch with my hubby, watching a movie together, sharing a bowl of popcorn, and then discussing the movie in full detail afterwards.  It’s amazing how different a person’s perspective is when you care enough to share your opinions.  So often we get caught up just asking surface questions that don’t allow the opening up and sharing of our emotional core – I truly believe it's in all that touchy, feeling stuff where true connections occurs.  Even as you grow and change in your life and marriage, we need to allow our spouses to join in our growth adventure, so he can get to know the real, authentic you... and visa versa.  So often we criticize them for not being the man that we married anymore, while forgetting that we are no longer the same person that they married.  I think it is a good and normal thing to change, and hopefully improve as we get older.  So as I personally take up this challenge to try and stay connected to my husband and show an interest in what interests him, I am investing in a long marriage of growing old together... and making sure we survive beyond my daughter's University or College years!!