Connect instead of Communicate

Whilst many of us have improved at keeping in touch with family and friends since the Lockdown began, we may have failed to authentically engage and connect in a meaningful way. The fact that many of our contacts might be suffering from loneliness, anxiety, worry or even depression, we will never know this if we fail to ask the right questions. Although sharing inspirational or funny Whatsapps or other social media pictures may communicate that we thought of them, it does not help to lighten their load or help them in anyway.

I have recently discovered that although these quick picture messages are well intended and are appreciated, they do little to intimately connect with another. There is nothing as special as being sent a heartfelt message inquiring of your situation and what you are going through. Ashamedly, had I known this, I would have learnt that a friend who had lost her job, could no longer afford her rent and was forced to move back in with her parents, or that another friend had been in bed with the Coronavirus, or another suffering from depression, not to mention the many other prayer needs I had failed to enquire about.

In all honesty, and in my defense, although I call them my friends, the correct relationship status would be an acquaintance, something we seem to have distorted, thanks to Facebook. A valid excuse for choosing to communicate instead of spending that extra time to intimately connect, is that we lead busy lives and don't always have the time. Or it could be that we have become so self-absorbed in our own problems, that we fail to think of others.

Whatever the reason, I've discovered a solution which I thought was worth sharing.  Each morning, as you spend time in prayer, ask God to bring to your mind just 3 people who need your encouragement and time.  Then instead of sharing all those picture messages to one and all, use your time that day instead to meaningfully engage and connect with those 3 people God has laid on your heart.  However you choose to connect, be sure to honestly ask them how they are doing, how you can help them and what prayer needs they may have and then be sure to listen, to respond and to act accordingly!

And as the receiver of a meaningful connection, let us all be bold and brave enough to be truthful, instead of just responding with the customary "I'm fine"... for only when we choose to be honest with ourselves and with others, can we begin to find the inner healing and growth that God has in store for us...

Common-Unity

Last week I shared some lovely benefits I had witnessed as a result of the Lockdown. If you missed it, here is the link:-

https://sharingsfromsam.blogspot.com/2020/05/be-still-and-wait-well.html

This week I’ve been thinking about my community and how so many people have rallied together to meet the huge need that has been highlighted as a result of the Lockdown. I believe that for many people, they already had this need, but one thing this pandemic has taught us is to think of others, besides ourselves.

The sad truth is that although we may all be enduring the same storm together, we certainly are not all in the same boat experiencing the same level of suffering.

The reality is, that whist some of us with families are still enjoying physical human contact, there are others who are single or alone and can only virtually connect with others. And for those whose love language is touch, this isolation must be extremely painful to bear.

As one who has always believed in a community united by a common goal, where we feed from and serve each other, I believe God has used this opportunity to highlight that we were created for human connection and not to live life in isolation.

Yes, there are daily times and seasons in our lives when we should spend some alone time with God, but the purpose of those times is to recharge and refuel from His source, in order to continue being the hands and feet of God, as we serve our community.

Whilst I have enjoyed my Zoom and video church sermons, one thing I have missed is taking Holy Communion together. To me and my Church, this is more than just sharing the elements in remembrance of the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ. When we use the example of the Last Supper, communion should be enjoyed as part of a meal together; a union of coming together as a community to share a meal together and using bread and wine or grape juice as part of the meal to remember Jesus’s blood that was shed for us and His body that was broken for us.

The Latin root of communion is communionem, meaning fellowship, mutual participation, or sharing, ie something done together, and not alone.

So whilst we prepare for the end of our Lockdown, if you are not already serving in some way, can I challenge you to give a thought to your community and how you can become a part of it to serve and be served in it? If you have ever asked yourself if there is more to life than this, then this is it...

Yes, it will take time, effort and sacrifice, but when we answer the call to become God’s hands and feet in our community, the rewards and benefits are eternal and satisfying, and the opportunities to do so are endless...

Be Still and Wait Well

Whilst we continue to wait in limbo, not knowing when our challenging lockdown restriction will end, we can either grumble and complain, or we can choose to have faith and trust blindly as we wait. It may not make sense, and we definitely don't need to like it, but it is what it is...

There is a lot in the media suggesting conspiracy theories and political sabotage, but whatever the truth is, we still need to do what we have been told to, even if it makes no sense or logic.  If we truly believe that God is in control of everything, then we can also trust that our President was elected by His authority, and God instructs us to honour and obey Him, even when we disagree.

Having faith is to be truly convinced in what we believe and in knowing that our future is secure in God's hands.  We don't need to know when the lockdown will end. All we need to do is to take one day at a time and choose and decide to wait well.

Instead of focusing on what freedoms we have lost or argue about what is and isn't an essential service or product, or what enjoyment or vice has been banned, we can instead give a thought to what this lockdown is teaching us.  

For me, my heart is filled with hope at the positive changes that have come about as a result of this pandemic and lockdown. As I share some of these below, may they resonate with you and encourage your heart with hope:-

• I see strangers in need of human connection, who are so much more friendly towards each other. 
• I see neighbours reaching out and caring for each another. 
• I see shoppers more patient to stand in long queues, without complaining.
• I see people who have never given a thought to the poor before, respond generously to the great need in our communities.
• I see churches living out their faith amongst each other, instead of inside a building.
• I am learning body language by identifying a smile behind a mask.
• My relationships with my husband and daughter are being refined, through our constant intimacy. Like being thrown into a pressure cooker, the steam is softening our hearts and making us more tender hearted. 
• I am learning to find contentment and approval from God and nature, instead of from people. 
• I have marvelled at everyone's colourful and creative handmade masks. 
• I have discovered empathy for Muslim women who are forced to wear burkas and with doctors who need to wear masks during long surgeries. 

So today, I challenge you to change your perspective and to be still, knowing that God is carrying us through these difficult and uncomfortable times, and using it to change and mould our hearts.  There is great strength in remaining hopeful and history has taught us that no matter how bleak things may seem, this too shall pass... 

Freedom

On Monday, the 27 April, South Africa celebrated ‘Freedom Day’, which is when we commemorate our first post-apartheid elections held in 1994. It seemed ironic to be celebrating ‘freedom’ during the Lockdown, while the freedom of our movements were restricted, with many of us feeling imprisoned in our own homes. But it got me thinking about what freedom really means... 

Whilst freedom can certainly be a physical thing, there are so many other kinds of freedom that are still worth celebrating.

One of my favourite films ‘Amistad’ tells the moving story of West African slaves in 1839, who fought for their freedom and won. They knew what it was like to be shackled as slaves, and cried out in desperation to be emancipated and set free.

Whilst most people today aren’t physically bound, unless maybe in prison, true liberation from spiritual bondage still eludes many. In John 8:36 we are given the wonderful promise, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” For those who have experienced the liberation of this kind of freedom (from sin, guilt, fear, shame, addiction, etc) this is certainly worthy of our praise and something to be celebrated and not taken for granted.

Jesus is our source of true emancipation and He offers forgiveness and freedom to anyone who believes in Him. He longingly awaits the cries of those who are shackled by unbelief, fear or failure.

Freedom is a matter of the heart and a state of mind. Even when Paul was physically bound in prison, he still maintained an attitude of freedom, and so can we.

Whilst the Lockdown may have curtailed our movement, it has certainly not silenced our voice, it has not stopped our imagination and it has not banned our learning or restricted our growth.

What freedoms do you enjoy that are worth celebrating? What areas in your life are in bondage that you need Jesus to free you from today?

Marriage Under Lockdown

Whilst I have laughed at all the many husband and wife jokes that have gone viral during the lockdown, I am also acutely aware that spending 24/7 with your spouse might not be a laughing matter for some of us. Having said that, it has however become a great taster of what we can expect once we are both retired. So if spending 24/7 with your spouse is proving a challenge, then this blog is for you.

I was reminded of that cliche of how our spouse ‘completes’ us, and the well known fact that opposites attract. What we may see as our husbands strengths and weaknesses could be our opposites and visa versa.

A recent sermon I heard at Shofar, Century City, made me realize how a wife is to be regarded as favour from God.

The truth is that marriage is a reflection and pattern of Adam and Eve. God designed Eve with a special purpose to be part of Adam’s salvation and helpmeet. The word helpmeet means a helpful companion.

We are to help our husbands, when they cannot help themselves. He should consider us his best friend and someone they should always be able to depend on, no matter what. Just like Eve was created from Adam’s rib, the ribs protects our vital organs, likewise, so must the wife protect her husband and his heart.

God blessed women with the gift of intuition, which is a gift passed onto her husband, should he heed it.

From the staggering Divorce rates, it is obvious that Satan seeks to destroy marriages, because he knows that there is strength in unity and without marriage, families are vulnerable to crumble and be destroyed.

Wives are responsible for their husbands spiritual protection. We need to be praying for him daily. In fact, we mirror and represent the Holy Spirit to them, by being their advisor, encourager, counselor, helper and comforter.

To quote a great analogy that was shared in the sermon, marriage is like a Rally Race. The husband is the driver and the wife is the navigator. To win the race, they have to work well as a team. The husband may give the direction and control the speed, but it’s the wife who can look ahead to see the blind spots and look out for dangers ahead. It is our jobs to advise them of these. Yes, the road ahead will be full of gravel, bumps and unexpected turns, but when we both keep our eyes on the road ahead, acknowledging and appreciating our need of each other, then we will function how God purposed marriage to be and it will thrive!

Our spouses may have a different way of handling and reacting to this lockdown, and it may feel like you are clashing heads right now or not seeing eye to eye, but may you be reminded that you are both on the same team. Listening to their opinions, even when we don’t agree, allows us to be their sounding board to get things off their chest. When we consider this as our sacrifice, it makes them feel heard and loved, and will make them more receptive to hear us when we need to vent. But keep in mind, even when you disagree, that’s okay. Accept their opinion and agree to disagree. Our jobs aren’t to make them see things our way or to change their opinion. I like to believe that God made us different so we will always have another perspective to consider.

And last but not least, Feminists or single woman may believe that they have no need of a man to fulfill their lives, but it is important to keep in mind that there is a man out there that needs you!

So as this lockdown continues, thank God that you are not in it alone, and appreciate and celebrate the blessing of your spouse.

Patience to Perform

Whilst most of the world under lockdown are free to take their dogs for long, leisurely walks along the beach, South Africa has chosen to ban dog-walking altogether. For many, like myself, who live in an apartment complex, as opposed to a freestanding or terraced house with a private garden, this has been a huge challenge and feels punishingly cruel. It took me a whole week to convince our Managing Agent and Body Corporate that taking our dog downstairs to the communal lawn within our complex, to do her business, aka ablution, was not the same as taking her for a walk for exercise. The fact that she has to walk there, is besides the point.

So after a week of dealing with one confused, desperate dog, who was forced to succumb to doing it on our balcony, we are now back on the small bit of luscious grass, much to the delight of Coco! Unfortunately it seems she is now out of sync and needs some urgent bowel reprogramming. 

However, in this process I have learnt an important lesson - dogs do not like to be rushed or forced to do it quick! It is much like trying to hush a crying baby when you're stressed out, frustrated or anxious, or trying to potty train, for that matter. I think babies, children and dogs can somehow sense our energy, and if we are not calm or patient, we will fail hopelessly at getting the results we so desperately want... In fact, we can actually make things worse and will see no result at all, no matter how long or hard we keep trying.  

I have had to change my perspective and resolve myself to the fact that unproductive trips are not a waste of my time. We still got to visit with nature and enjoy a bit of fresh air, and whilst my soul was calmed through listening to the birds, Coco enjoyed sniffing to her heart's content and take a cooling sprawl on the grass. 

Coco needs to do a whole lot of sniffing before she finds the perfect spot, and although at times it may feel like we are walking in circles, she needs my cheering patience before she will be ready to perform! 

So with lesson learnt, I pass it on - if you want a good result, be sure to breathe deeply, remain calm and be extra-patient, no matter what the situation... Dog, or no dog. 

Psalms 23 : Lying down in Green Pastures

As the world receded into their homes to curb the spread of the Coronavirus, I was reminded how, like sheep, God is making us 'lie down in green pastures'. To lie down is to be in a state of rest and the green pastures represents our lush provision for both our spiritual and physical needs. If Jesus is to be our Bread of Life, then we need to be feeding from His Word, the Bible. Not just rushed appetisers, but delicious, heaped portions to savour and enjoy, that will leave us feeling full and satisfied. Only the correct portion of the right kind of food will be able to properly sustain and grow us.

It is interesting to note that sheep will only lie down if they are content and satisfied, without any worry or fear. Could this be why we may be finding it so hard to be at rest right now, especially within our homes, with the added demands of kids and increased pressures? You may be feeling anxious and fearful, unable to rest and just 'do nothing', or you may be trying to continue to work from home, pretending that everything is still normal. You may be pacing your floor with worry over an uncertain future and you may have become obsessed, like so many of us, with this virus, that has taken over every aspect of our lives. 

Today I want to challenge you to take a deep breath, knowing that this is all out of our control and the only control we have right now is how we choose to respond to it, and by staying home so we can stay safe, and finding rest for our soul. Whilst many are fighting to beat this disease, there are just as many people struggling with dis-ease, not knowing how to find the peace or the kind of rest that God wants to offer us. 

We can either choose to remain disgruntled or we can use this opportunity to right all the wrongs in our lives. By submitting to this need for isolation, and appreciating its objective, we can turn this difficult situation into a life-changing experience. If we change our perspective, we will see this time as a precious gift of rest, a time to recharge ourselves both spiritually and physically.

Are your meal times with God not leaving you full or nourished? If you are not feeling content to 'lie down', then perhaps your meals of feeding in His green pastures need some adjusting.

While it seems ironic that where once we were urged to stay positive, with the Coronavirus, that has become a negative, so instead, lets all remain optimistic and not lose hope. Our lives will eventually return to a new normal, and when it does, we can either be the same dis-eased person, or we can come out of this hibernation well fed well rested and content - the choice is yours...