Going to bed angry

I've always tried to follow the bible verse in Ephesians 4:26 that I've interpreted to mean not to go to bed angry with someone.  There have been times when this has been extremely difficult to do and has left me feeling like a fake, a fraud and a hypocrite. It is one thing to say you are no longer angry, but to be fully released from those feelings is another story entirely.  Trying to make peace in a hurry doesn't fully resolve the issues, it just delays them.  I've recently discovered that in an investigation that was done, one of the traits of a truly happy marriage IS to go to bed mad at each other, sleep on it and then resolve it in the morning, if there is still a need to. It turns out that some issues only require a good nights sleep to change your perspective about a situation. 

The person was saying that in fact, it is very harmful to try and resolve issues before bedtime, when both of you are tired and grumpy.  You are more likely to say things you don't mean or agree to things you shouldn't.  I was relieved to hear what Psalm 4:4 says - Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.  I guess in order for me not to sin with my anger, I do need to sleep on it and be still... 

Delaying God's Timing

After a year of trying to wait patiently on God's timing, we have finally had our prayers answered in finding ourselves a bigger home! 

Our journey of searching for one has been pot-holed with many  doubts, confusion and disappointments, but as a faith-believing Christian, I continued to trust God for His perfect timing in answering my prayer.  

However, in retrospect, I am left wondering if I might have been delaying God's timing, by what exactly I was praying for.  You see, I was so focused on my wants list, believing for God's favour, that I never stopped to give any thought to what it was we actually needed or if it even fitted in with God's will for our lives.  I had thought that if I had these desires for a specific home, then it must be okay to ask God for it... It was only in the week before we found this new home that the angle of my prayers had changed - perhaps in a resigned desperation, but I began to pray 'according to His will' and to trust Him with our needs, laying down my detailed want list, which has left me with this thought...  Maybe we do delay God's timing when we become so focused on what WE want, instead of what God knows we need...  Although I still believe that God loves us so much that He does want to bless us abundantly with His favour, we should never treat God like our Fairy-Godmother! 

It is only when we can lay down our wants and pray for what it is God wants for us and what we actually need, with the right motives, that we can expect God to answer our prayers...

Silence is Acceptance

It is said that we often teach people how to treat us, just by allowing it. When we do not object to being bullied and emotionally or for that matter, physically abused, it is our silent way of telling the perpetrator that we accept it. It does not matter who is doing the abuse, we need to make a stand and let them know that we deserve better.  They will never feel it necessary to apologise if you have not made known that you have been hurt and offended by their words or actions.

So often when we have conflict in our relationships, we cringe away in fear, keep silent and instead pray for peace like it's a magic wand to remove the friction - instead of allowing God to use the conflict to bring a more solid kind of peace.  Very often it is the friction that is the catalyst that will smooth out the bumps, when handled correctly.  

By bottling up our offences and not expressing our emotions, we are just delaying the explosion, because the truth is that negativity ALWAYS has a way of becoming exposed, one way or another!  God often doesn't want our prayers for peace when there are obvious issues that need to be addressed and dealt with.  There are too many people who wear a smile on their faces, but who are carrying a bandaged and bruised heart, only because they continue to carry on as normal, pretending nothing was said or done and acting as if they deserve it! 

Sometimes in life, we don't only need the peace and calmness of a lamb, but also the courage and boldness of a lion...

Why we sing in Church?

I've attended many different churches during my lifetime with varying denominations.  My favourite has always leaned towards the more 'Happy Clappy' style of music - not because I love to clap or raise my hands, but because I believe that is the style the Bible speaks of.

God has been speaking to me a lot lately about how I praise and worship Him both on my own and within a congregation.  I've learnt that the lyrics of the songs we sing are important if we want to really connect with God.  When we 'praise' God we need to be singing songs that speak highly of Him and when we worship Him, the songs should make us feel like fully surrendering ourselves to God, in a 'bowing before Him' in our spirits, kind of way. There are many verses in the Bible that command us to make a joyful noise unto the Lord.  God gave us unique instruments in our two hands to clap with and it should come natural that when we are praising and worshiping God spiritually and not just in the natural, going through the motions, that we would feel compelled to want to raise our hands.  

Unfortunately Satan has seen to it that we feel ashamed, embarrassed and self-conscious about what how we sing in church, constantly worrying about what everyone else will think of us.

I know that when God brings a sermon across my path more than once, that deals with the same topic, I must take note of it and respond.  So I will..  although we sing collectively in church, I will be making a concerted effort to praise and worship God in and with my spirit, regardless of what others may think of me... 

A Different Perspective

There have been times in my life when I have dwelt on something that I don't quite like, in fact the emotions come close to hatred! A recent example is when the wind was blowing a gale. As I was busy admiring the majestic Table Mountain views of Cape Town,  trying to enjoy a family outing to Woodbridge Island Beach, every now and again, a gust of wind would cause the soft sand to sandblast us!  This was so not pleasant, and it had me praying to God to make the wind calm down.  At one point, I even tried speaking to the wind to stop, to no avail. 

Suddenly there came a few guys excitingly about to kitesurf, who were relishing and grateful for the exact same wind that I was busy cursing! Watching them being taken off with the wind, I believe in that moment God was teaching me how to change my perspective. So often in life, we get caught up hating things that someone else is praying for, be it the wind, a marriage, a child or even your job! It helps to try and see it from their perspective, so that instead of hating it, our appreciation can make us endure it better. Knowing that someone loves the thing that we hate, somehow removes the sting. So next time something rubs me the wrong way, instead of seeing only the negative, I intend to try and see it through positive eyes, and with a better, and different perspective...