The Importance of Fathers

Whilst the world recently celebrated their dad’s on Father’s Day, many children and adults had no father to spoil. Sadly, the cause of this is not always due to their death, like myself, but for many, it is either the choice of the father not wanting to be present or involved, or the choice of the mothers to exclude the father from their child’s life.

The World’s culture seems to place little value on the role of fathers. Evidence of this is found in the pop culture and media to government policy. Yet, studies have shown that fathers play a vital role in the emotional and overall development of children, not just for sons, but for daughters as well.

Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them, thus providing a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it improves their child’s cognitive and social development, and instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.

The fact that men and women are different, results in a significant different parenting style. Dads, for instance, love their children more dangerously by playing rougher, more likely to encourage risk-taking and encouraging competition. They provide kids with a broader diversity of social experiences and introduce them to a wider variety of methods of dealing with life. They tend to instill rules, justice, fairness and duty in the way that they discipline, thus teaching objectivity and consequences of right and wrong. They prepare them for the challenges of life and demonstrate by example respect towards woman.

A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, or strong and valiant, his daughter will look for those same qualities in a man.

Sons see their fathers as heroes, modeling themselves after their character and seeking their approval from a very young age. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the rules for how to behave and survive in the world, which is why many turn to gangs. As for daughters without a father or father figure, they often end up seeking a man’s approval in all the wrong places.

A mother’s influence promotes sympathy, care and help, by the way they model these traits, thus demonstrating to children the value of healthy relationships. Neither style of parenting is adequate in and of itself. Taken together, they balance each other out and equip the next generation with a healthy, well-rounded approach to life.

In an analysis of over 100 studies on parent-child relationships, it was found that having a loving and nurturing father was just as important for a child’s happiness, well-being, and social and academic success, as having a loving and nurturing mother.

Research from the University of Pennsylvania indicates that children who feel a closeness and warmth with their father are twice as likely to enter college, 75% less likely to have a child in their teen years, 80% less likely to go to jail and half as likely to suffer from depression. Studies demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt, that fathers play an important and irreplaceable role in healthy child development.

What this means for single mothers raising their children alone, is the importance of including the father in their lives as much as possible, but only where this will have a healthy impact. Where there is no father to speak of, either by choice or death, then they need to find a good male role model for their children, either in an uncle, a family member or through their Church.

From a religious standpoint, an adult who has never had a father figure present in their lives, will battle to have a healthy relationship with their Heavenly Father. The good news is that for a child with no Father or orphaned, God offers full adoption into His family.

It is said that anyone can father a child, but it takes a special kind of a man to be a daddy. If you have never had a dad in your life, or perhaps don’t know who your father is, then come to your Abba Father, whose love and grace can heal all your broken pieces and help change you into the son or daughter you were created to be.

Fighting from Victory

Have you ever felt under attack on all sides from the devil?  Whilst we may not know whether it is in fact the devil’s doing, consequences of bad choices, a generational or other curse or even, if like Job, God has allowed the problem to test our faith, the bottom line is the same. Our victory is gained by our attitudes and our words of faith.

We may be familiar with the concept of binding the enemy and loosing God’s blessings to cancel out perceived curses in our lives, but sometimes it seems as if we are fighting against a relentless enemy, putting all our focus on the devil instead of standing on the Word and declaring our victory in His name.

The key to winning the war is changing the focus of our prayers, instead of reaching TOWARDS a point of victory, pray FROM a point of victory.  We do this by boldly declaring the victory God has already given us through Jesus’ death on the cross.

Psalms 100:4 says we are to enter His courts with praise. We stand against the enemy by putting on our Holy armour according to Ephesians 6:10-18, standing on   the promises that God has given us.

Remember that the enemy has already been defeated, so we just need to remind him of this by using the authority we have in Jesus’ name. 

Sometimes we act like dogs chasing our tails, trying to get what we have already been given. Jesus is our mediator and He is the one who intercedes on our behalf.  We do not need to beg God or persuade Him to release His power, but simply exercise the authority He has already given us.

Powerful prayers in fighting the enemy is by acknowledging our inheritance and the blessings we already have. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue, therefore we need to speak death and defeat to our sickness or problem, curse it and command it to leave; then speak life by releasing the living, resurrection life of power that God has given us through His Word. God clearly tells us to “choose life”.

Another important aspect of spiritual warfare is being aware and recognising the enemy behind the chaos.  The problem is not your boss, your husband or your child but it is the devil using them as puppets to push your buttons to try and destroy your relationships, and to steal your peace and joy.  When we can see that, it helps us to separate the person from their behaviour and allows us to more easily forgive what they said or did.  Satan uses people to get our focus off of God and what we should be doing for Him.

When we grasp the fact that there is a battle for our heart by an enemy who is trying to dominate our lives through our choices, of what we say, what we think, what we do and what we believe, we can be better prepared to respond correctly.

Satan cannot control us outside of our will – he needs our consent and co-operation, which is why we need to be careful of our choices in order to resist him. He will try every scheme he knows to discourage us, deceive us, oppress us and destroy us. A toxic environment of our heart and any unrighteous living is an open invitation to the enemy to enter, just as wrong and negative thinking will create strongholds in our minds that the devil will feast on.

Robert Morris shares in his sermon ‘Under Attack’ that a deer only pants when it is chased by an enemy, and its first action is to run for water.  We need to do the same, by running to our living water, which is the Word of God. Run to God, the shelter in your storm.

We need to stop listening to our negative, anxious thoughts and attack back with praise and worship as our weapon to defeat them. Every day, we need to be fighting the war within us between our spirit and our soul (mind, will and emotions), as they are both contending for control.  

When it comes to praying, many of us are losing the battle, merely by praying incorrectly.  We need to stop explaining to God how to do His job better, or giving Him ideas of how to solve our problems. We must stop griping and start thanking Him; praising Him for our victory in faith, even before our victory comes.

I’m not saying we can’t pour out our hearts to God in desperate situations – rather Him, than to the people around us – but just like in the Psalms, once you’ve vented to God, make sure that you end off by standing firm, and by letting your hope be your anchor to trust Him with the outcome.

I can honestly testify that when we choose to keep a good attitude about our problems, or difficult circumstances, instead of complaining and whining in a ‘Woe is me’ pity party, the issues always get resolved that much quicker. 

When we declare and speak out our faith, and the promises from God’s Word, we break the strongholds of incorrect thoughts, remove our doubts, build up our faith and align ourselves with God’s Spirit, activating the authority and power within us to win the battles.

Every day, we should mentally put on all of our armour, as listed in Ephesians 6:14-18, but remembering that it ends off with praying in the Spirit, which is the key to unlocking our victory. 

Remembering that the devil knows how God sees us and what He thinks of us, will automatically change our countenance. Satan already knows the outcome and that we win in the end, but he is trying to distract us from our path and to lead us away from it.  He does this by stirring up challenges and by disguising himself through people. He knows our weaknesses and what will ensnare us. He is trying to trip us up and rob us of our inheritance.

Our spirit is our connection to God and alive unto God when we are born again. We commune with God spirit to spirit though the Holy Spirit. This is the only thing that cannot be intercepted by Satan.  Man’s soul realm is his mind, will, and emotions, e.g. our worldly, carnal self, all subject to change and attacks of the enemy. That’s why it is so easy for Satan to attack us in this realm and why we need the baptism of the Holy Spirit, to give us that fullness of fire to resist.  When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we can walk tall with victory, knowing that the roar of our Father is behind us, scaring off the roar of the enemy.

In conclusion, I was reminded at Church recently by Gabe Philips of Life Changers Church - Milnerton, that Communion is also an effective Spiritual weapon in winning the war against the enemy.

When you consider all of our Spiritual Armour which is; the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes shod with the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God, they are all rooted in what Jesus died for and what taking Communion represents.  When we partake of Jesus’s body, represented by the bread, we are claiming healing not just for our bodies, but our minds and all of our broken pieces.  When we partake of His blood, represented by the wine or grape juice, we are receiving the forgiveness of our sins and covering our lives with His blood, that has redeemed us and protects us.

In Psalms 23, we are reminded that Jesus has prepared a table for us in the presence of our enemies. The first communion, when Jesus initially demonstrated and charged us to remember the importance of these two elements, was held at the Last Supper.  When we feast with the symbols of Jesus’ body and blood, by eating the Word of God, the Spiritual realm is shifted to bring about our victory. Sometimes it may not seem like God is doing anything in the natural, but rest assured, that things are moving behind the scenes in the Spiritual realm, and the devil is going down!

Whilst God may choose to take our trials or problems away, true spiritual victory comes when we can have a Godly perspective on what is happening to us, whether they go away or not. The true victory is when we have reprogrammed our thinking with a renewed mind, being able to still praise God regardless of our circumstances.

So, my fellow soldiers in the Lord’s army, go forth with your full armour to fight your battles the right way, rejoicing with praise, taking Communion, and declaring that the war has already been won. You have the victory!