The Importance of Fathers

Whilst the world recently celebrated their dad’s on Father’s Day, many children and adults had no father to spoil. Sadly, the cause of this is not always due to their death, like myself, but for many, it is either the choice of the father not wanting to be present or involved, or the choice of the mothers to exclude the father from their child’s life.

The World’s culture seems to place little value on the role of fathers. Evidence of this is found in the pop culture and media to government policy. Yet, studies have shown that fathers play a vital role in the emotional and overall development of children, not just for sons, but for daughters as well.

Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them, thus providing a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it improves their child’s cognitive and social development, and instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.

The fact that men and women are different, results in a significant different parenting style. Dads, for instance, love their children more dangerously by playing rougher, more likely to encourage risk-taking and encouraging competition. They provide kids with a broader diversity of social experiences and introduce them to a wider variety of methods of dealing with life. They tend to instill rules, justice, fairness and duty in the way that they discipline, thus teaching objectivity and consequences of right and wrong. They prepare them for the challenges of life and demonstrate by example respect towards woman.

A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, or strong and valiant, his daughter will look for those same qualities in a man.

Sons see their fathers as heroes, modeling themselves after their character and seeking their approval from a very young age. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the rules for how to behave and survive in the world, which is why many turn to gangs. As for daughters without a father or father figure, they often end up seeking a man’s approval in all the wrong places.

A mother’s influence promotes sympathy, care and help, by the way they model these traits, thus demonstrating to children the value of healthy relationships. Neither style of parenting is adequate in and of itself. Taken together, they balance each other out and equip the next generation with a healthy, well-rounded approach to life.

In an analysis of over 100 studies on parent-child relationships, it was found that having a loving and nurturing father was just as important for a child’s happiness, well-being, and social and academic success, as having a loving and nurturing mother.

Research from the University of Pennsylvania indicates that children who feel a closeness and warmth with their father are twice as likely to enter college, 75% less likely to have a child in their teen years, 80% less likely to go to jail and half as likely to suffer from depression. Studies demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt, that fathers play an important and irreplaceable role in healthy child development.

What this means for single mothers raising their children alone, is the importance of including the father in their lives as much as possible, but only where this will have a healthy impact. Where there is no father to speak of, either by choice or death, then they need to find a good male role model for their children, either in an uncle, a family member or through their Church.

From a religious standpoint, an adult who has never had a father figure present in their lives, will battle to have a healthy relationship with their Heavenly Father. The good news is that for a child with no Father or orphaned, God offers full adoption into His family.

It is said that anyone can father a child, but it takes a special kind of a man to be a daddy. If you have never had a dad in your life, or perhaps don’t know who your father is, then come to your Abba Father, whose love and grace can heal all your broken pieces and help change you into the son or daughter you were created to be.