Marriage Under Lockdown

Whilst I have laughed at all the many husband and wife jokes that have gone viral during the lockdown, I am also acutely aware that spending 24/7 with your spouse might not be a laughing matter for some of us. Having said that, it has however become a great taster of what we can expect once we are both retired. So if spending 24/7 with your spouse is proving a challenge, then this blog is for you.

I was reminded of that cliche of how our spouse ‘completes’ us, and the well known fact that opposites attract. What we may see as our husbands strengths and weaknesses could be our opposites and visa versa.

A recent sermon I heard at Shofar, Century City, made me realize how a wife is to be regarded as favour from God.

The truth is that marriage is a reflection and pattern of Adam and Eve. God designed Eve with a special purpose to be part of Adam’s salvation and helpmeet. The word helpmeet means a helpful companion.

We are to help our husbands, when they cannot help themselves. He should consider us his best friend and someone they should always be able to depend on, no matter what. Just like Eve was created from Adam’s rib, the ribs protects our vital organs, likewise, so must the wife protect her husband and his heart.

God blessed women with the gift of intuition, which is a gift passed onto her husband, should he heed it.

From the staggering Divorce rates, it is obvious that Satan seeks to destroy marriages, because he knows that there is strength in unity and without marriage, families are vulnerable to crumble and be destroyed.

Wives are responsible for their husbands spiritual protection. We need to be praying for him daily. In fact, we mirror and represent the Holy Spirit to them, by being their advisor, encourager, counselor, helper and comforter.

To quote a great analogy that was shared in the sermon, marriage is like a Rally Race. The husband is the driver and the wife is the navigator. To win the race, they have to work well as a team. The husband may give the direction and control the speed, but it’s the wife who can look ahead to see the blind spots and look out for dangers ahead. It is our jobs to advise them of these. Yes, the road ahead will be full of gravel, bumps and unexpected turns, but when we both keep our eyes on the road ahead, acknowledging and appreciating our need of each other, then we will function how God purposed marriage to be and it will thrive!

Our spouses may have a different way of handling and reacting to this lockdown, and it may feel like you are clashing heads right now or not seeing eye to eye, but may you be reminded that you are both on the same team. Listening to their opinions, even when we don’t agree, allows us to be their sounding board to get things off their chest. When we consider this as our sacrifice, it makes them feel heard and loved, and will make them more receptive to hear us when we need to vent. But keep in mind, even when you disagree, that’s okay. Accept their opinion and agree to disagree. Our jobs aren’t to make them see things our way or to change their opinion. I like to believe that God made us different so we will always have another perspective to consider.

And last but not least, Feminists or single woman may believe that they have no need of a man to fulfill their lives, but it is important to keep in mind that there is a man out there that needs you!

So as this lockdown continues, thank God that you are not in it alone, and appreciate and celebrate the blessing of your spouse.