To change or Not to Change...

In every relationship there is bound to be a conflict of ideas and opinions - only because God deliberately made us all very different, for a reason!  Recently, I've discovered the TV program 'Being Erica' and I honestly feel that through watching it, I am being healed of some of my past baggage. The basic theme in these episodes are about dealing with the regrets in your life through the eyes of Erica, who is counseled by a therapist, someone I've come to relate in my own life as 'God'.  In last week's episode, the drama was about relationships and how we so often try to manipulate our partners into changing to become the person we have created a mold for. We want them to react and behave in a certain way, and when they don't, we get annoyed. The truth is that no matter how much we want them to change, our nagging or cohersions will not make it so.  We are powerless to attempt it and it is a pointless, frustrating endevour to think we can. I have come to learn that we can only change others by first changing ourselves. When we decide to change how we react in certain circumstances, being mindful in how we respond to them, we will soon see many favourable results. The only power we have to change ourselves is by controlling our reactions and to consistently seek God's help in prayer. I believe it is possible to heal all kinds of relationships in this way, even marriage, but only when we do the changing first. We also need to learn to love our spouses for who they are, warts and all! Only when we are able to focus on their good points, will their flaws seem less annoying!