A Sombre Easter

Unlike previous Easter celebrations which were happy and joyful occasions, this year proved to be a more sombre affair. As I shared the reasons why with my sister, I was surprised when she exclaimed how blessed I had been to be touched by God in such a meaningful way.

On Good Friday, as I ate my pickled fish and reflected on the symbolism of the fish, vinegar and spices, I was reminded of the intense pain and suffering that Jesus had endured when he died on the cross. Like the sacrificial lamb that he was, he endured and submitted his life as an offering to us all, knowing that it was for a greater purpose. As Christians, we should share, not only in the celebration of the Easter message, but also in the suffering. As a parent, I can only imagine how God must have felt to see his son suffering as he was battered and bruised and nailed to that cross. If you've ever watched the movie 'The Passion of the Christ', you cannot help but grimace in anguish at how much Jesus had suffered and endured.

On Sunday, again, instead of a happy, uplifting, joyful message, Pastor Jaco Janse van Rensburg from the Shofar Church in Century City chose to focus us on the betrayal of Christ by Judas and Peter and the importance of repentance. As he shared how Peter had denied knowing Jesus, I was reminded of how often I too had denied Jesus - by not sharing that I was a Christian with others or by saying, thinking or doing things that I knew he would disapprove of. As I wept with repentance of how sinful I was, I realised how it is only with a contrite heart, being made fully aware at the wretchedness of our sin, that you can fully appreciate the magnitude of Jesus's death and what it cost him and what it means to me as a sinner.

As a sinner, we can either choose to be like Judas who ended his life in despair or we can repent and be like Peter, who became one of the greatest witnesses for Christ. We may not go to the extremes of ending our lives, but by choosing not to repent, our sin can eat at us and end up killing our faith, our hope and even our future.

Two things stood out for me on Sunday's sermon. One was from Luke 22:61 when after Peter had denied knowing Jesus for the third time, Jesus locked eyes with him. Peter remembered what Jesus had said the night before and was filled with shame and wept bitterly. But I also reflected on the love and forgiveness Peter must have seen in Jesus's eyes - no condemnation or anger, just pure love and understanding, which remorsefully turned Peter's shame and guilt into true repentance.

The other highlight was the significance of Peter denying Jesus 3 times, and then in John 21:15-17 when Jesus, after his resurrection, asks Peter if he loves him 3 times. It is almost as if there is a spiritual transaction that takes place when we sin in the natural, that needs to be cancelled out again in the spiritual. Or perhaps the number 3, being the symbol of completion, was Jesus's way of saying 'It is finished'. Just like the message of Easter should be for us - Jesus died for our sins, paying the full debt of our transgressions. His work was done.

Only once we can fully appreciate and comprehend what Jesus's death means for us as a sinner, can we then rejoice and celebrate how Christ conquered death by rising again to give us the amazing gift of eternal life.